I used to not have orgasms. I thought I was the only one. Now I know that about 79% of women don’t orgasm during intercourse, and about 12% of women have never had an orgasm!
Women often tell me that they can have an orgasm alone but not when with a partner. It is important to think about how one self-pleasures. When talking to women, I have found that many of them only self-pleasure clitorally, either manually or with a small vibrator, and in the same position each time. While pleasuring this way may result in a quick result, it does nothing to train the body to have internal orgasms or a variety of orgasms. Taking time to learn about your body and to fully explore, will not only help to have more orgasms, but also to communicate to a partner.
When wanting more orgasms, take a moment to think about the position of your body while having sex. The way your legs are, the way your body lays. Try a variety of positions while touching yourself. It is important because, for example, if you like being on top and never pleasure yourself in an upright position it will be harder to achieve an orgasm. An easy way to practice in this position is to sit on a ball of some sort. Adding a dildo with a suction cup, to the ball, will be like being on top, during sex. An even better alternative, in fact, one of my personal favorites, is utilizing the Liberator Pulse. With the Pulse, a vibrator or dildo can be put into the specially designed pocket, plus a clitoral vibrator can be placed in one of the smaller pockets, for additional stimulation. It is truly like being in Cowgirl Position. Amazing!
I suggest utilizing a variety of techniques in self-pleasuring, in different positions which mimic sex. Using an internal vibrator or dildo will condition the vaginal tissue and prepare the body for what it would be experiencing with a penis or penetration. Begin with combining the internal product with clitoral stimulation, if you typically orgasm clitorally. This will start to condition your body to having something internally, while hopefully orgasming clitorally. Once your body is starting to orgasm regularly in this position, take away the clitoral vibrations and substitute pressure on the pubic mound, with your hand. Often times this area of the body has pressure applied from the other body and so it is natural to have pressure there.
I find that using a clitoral stimulating gel or my go-to Sex Butter, to really heighten my experience (and speed it up). My favorite is the Lelo Soyara. I use a tiny bit of Sex Butter on the tip of each arm of the Soyara. It is also a good idea to find toys that are the size of your partner, to train the body with. It can be good to use a variety of sized toys, too, if you are just getting started!
Visualize, take time for yourself, get out of your head and enjoy the body that you have! Til next time! A Bientot!