I usually have a few lovers laying around. Or more like around somewhere, when we can get to each other (it is LA, after all and nothing is close). We sext, we email, I am on Tinder occasionally, and I tend to have one or two in the pipeline. The pipeline was bust this time and life got in the way. I realized I hadn’t had sex in a long time. I mean, a really LONG time. At least a long time for me. And being a sexless Sexinista was not working for me. It was taking a toll.
I am very fortunate to have a high sex drive. I am also blessed to have a toy collection, that would make most people blush, so it isn’t like I have been an orgasmless Sexinista. I self-pleasure on a regular basis, 2-3 times a week or more. Sometimes that often in a day. It keeps me young, sane, and confident. I get in ruts like anyone else and as a business owner, I don’t always take time for myself. I can always tell when I haven’t had an orgasm in awhile… I get grumpy and I am less tolerant of others.
So, my 10-month celibacy stint came to an end a couple of months ago, thank God! After months of sexting and mis-matched schedules, the cutie-pie from Tinder and I finally met up. Fun times! Just like riding a bicycle. And then there was a guy from another site. It was like the pheromones were flying again. Men I hadn’t heard from for years contacted me (not that I was inclined to revisit those, but it was flattering). My energy increased, my drive was thriving. I was sleeping better and needing less sleep. Wow, I was back! I felt like my old self again.
Why did I wait so long to have sex again, I asked myself? Sex on a regular basis really fun! I had told myself that trying to find a lover was taking too much time away from my business and was a distraction. It takes time to find someone that I am attracted to, have chemistry with, is honest, and isn’t a flake. This is all true, but it is also an inspiration. I love self-pleasure, but I really love hot sex too! They are 2 different things. Nothing takes the place of a hot body, intimacy, and the oxytocin that is stimulated by touch and kissing.
I have been talking a lot about masturbation this month with women, since May is Masturbation Month. It often comes up that when a woman is in a relationship, she rarely self-pleasures. I find that men still masturbate multiple times per day, even when having sex with a partner. My ladies find that hard to believe. I would love to hear your thoughts. I know for me, when I am having sex, I want it even more, so I self-pleasure more, too. My energy surges and I am motivated to do more. Perhaps this is why I am getting so much done today! 🙂