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The Condom Cop-out

I keep hearing from both men I meet and my girlfriends, that men complain about condoms. A common gripe is that guys can’t stay hard wearing one. I am obviously not a man and don’t know what it feels like, but to me, that sounds like a mental block. I would think a baby or incurable disease would also be a boner killer, but that’s just me.  What really bothers me is that if he doesn’t want to wear one with you, he isn’t wearing one with anyone else either.

Condoms are necessary in this day and age. I much prefer skin on skin and I react negatively to commercially available condoms. They contain chemicals and fillers that I am allergic to. Luckily I discovered condoms that my body doesn’t react to, because safe-sex is important. Men seem to appreciate them also. My new lover (who had expressed distaste for condoms) said it felt like he had nothing on.

I find younger men assume condoms are a must where men my age, assume they are not. This is why there are growing numbers of outbreaks in older demographics. If pregnancy isn’t a concern, then condoms tend to be shrugged off. I am appalled at the lack of education around pregnancy and infections. I shouldn’t be with only 24 states requiring Sex-Ed to be “medically accurate.” STIs and STDs are rampant. I recently read that the top reason potential contestants are unable to be cast on the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, is STIs, most often herpes. Herpes affects 1 out of 6 people and it is with you for life. 

Do you have the conversation about STD/STI testing with a new or potential partner? I find it unnerving that I have yet to have a man initiate this conversation. I always have brought it up first. I know I am frank and upfront, but do you talk about this? Have you seen the actual results and know for a fact that he hasn’t been with anyone else since those results? I need to be more diligent about this, and I suggest that for everyone. Did you know that men are often a-symptomatic  (no symptoms) and are not tested for HPV?

While getting tested isn’t my favorite activity; I experience some angst each time. I mostly practice safe sex, I like knowing my status. Some people don’t want their primary physician to know they are getting tested, or perhaps even their spouse. I have long recommended using a local clinic and more recently online testing, such as, for quick, no hassle results.

I recently used and it was super easy and efficient. It was a seamless process that yielded quick results, which gives me piece of mind. I signed up online and chose a local lab. The only “issue” I had was that the labs in my area were closed at lunch time and their day ends at 4pm, other than that, it was very easy. I went to the lab, had my specimens taken, and had the result in my online account in less than 48 hrs.

In the past I have typically been tested during my annual exam at my OB-GYN. I have also gone to CDC, Clinics, and now online. By far online testing is the easiest and quickest. I appreciated that they tested for 10 diseases/infections including Herpes Simplex 1 and 2 (HSV1, HSV2), which many places do not.

If you or your partner have had unprotected sex with anyone else since your last STD test, I suggest going online to and  get tested together, knowing your status is sexy. If you enjoy multiple partners (no judgement. I do) be safe and wrap it up. Don’t forget about oral and anal  sex too