My 4th Sexy Secret is Don’t Hesitate. Make a decision and stick with it. Hesitation connotates fear of failure. Often we worry too much about being perfect and it is easy to get stuck in that perfection. Confidence is actually more important than competence. A confident person will often surpass someone with all the answers. It is a version of analysis paralysis. I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone, and I also push myself to also.
Be bold. Many leaders will say that their best team members are the ones who speak up, whether the answer is right or not. It is the act of answering or expressing an opinion that shows confidence, rather that thinking about if the answer is what someone wants to hear or if it is correct thing to say. One of my favorite sayings is from Richard Branson, “Say yes and figure out how.” He speaks a lot about this in his book, Like a Virgin.
Another benefit of oxytocin is that it blocks pain receptors. This allows our bodies and minds to push limits and take risks, and to do things that normally we may not. When I discovered my sexual self, the confidence that came about allowed me become the highest paid person ever, in my position, just because I asked for it. When I feel my confidence wains, it is easy to go back to, “I should just be grateful for what I have,” instead of pushing for what I really want. To solve that drop in confidence, I phone a lover or self-pleasure to get that oxytocin flowing. It snaps me out of my momentary funk. I am grateful for what I have and I love my life, but I want to always be learning, growing, and providing more pleasure in the world.